Phil Johnson

Oct 16, 2022

1 min read

I vant to suck your verified blood!

Even the undead need to be careful these days.

Cartoon of a vampire holding a cell phone and standing in a darkened bedroom, next to a man lying in bed with the covers pulled up to his nose. The vampire says, Before I suck your blood, can you verify your identity by repeating the code I just texted to you?

--

--

More from Phil Johnson

Cartoonist. Former Dave Letterman joke writer. Yinzer. Proud girl dad, twice over. Beer drinker. Pizza lover. He/him.

Recommended from Medium

BargainsHouse

Mens Womens Winter Beanie Hats Scarf Set Unisex Thick Fleece Lined Warm Knit

Holly J See 🐩🐕🦜

in

MuddyUm

Santa Baby’s Makin’ Whoopee Tonight

A sexy long-haired woman in a black dress reclines on a bartop behind a green cocktail. Backdrop is shelves of colorfully labeled liquor bottles.
Chloe Brown

SoCo: Greenville, NC

Claire Goforth

‘Zoom Dick’ Writer Phones a Friend

HW STAFF

in

HEBE’S WORLD

What are the 5 main skin types?

Unsolicited Syd

Grad School Diaries Day 1

Colored Contacts

Devil Sclera Red Halloween Contacts

Eder Carva

Mam (Guatemala) [to a man] Buenos diias

AboutHelpTermsPrivacy

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Phil Johnson

Phil Johnson

6.2K Followers

Cartoonist. Former Dave Letterman joke writer. Yinzer. Proud girl dad, twice over. Beer drinker. Pizza lover. He/him.

Help

Status

Writers

Blog

Careers

Privacy

Terms

About

Text to speech